AT&T HQ releases friendly reminder reminding store employees how awesome they are [BS]

The Verizon “There’s a map for that” ads have already garnered a couple posts here at Gadgetsteria not only from Verizon’s side of things, but also from AT&T’s as they seek one of their most frivolous lawsuits ever. Hiding under the guise that the ads are misleading is in short, stupid. Verizon edited the ads once with text that read “Network coverage available outside of 3G areas”. How much more dumbed down do you need? Apparently if you’re AT&T you’re going to need much, much more. So, without further adieu, let’s just take a look at the filth spewed forth by AT&T:

Channels: COR, DMDR, LD, and NR Internal
Roles: Reps & Above
Markets: All
Contact: Your Manager
AT&T filed a lawsuit on November 4, 2009 against Verizon’s “There’s a Map for That” advertising campaign. Independent research shows that the maps in the advertisements mislead consumers into believing that we do not offer any wireless service in the vast majority of the country. In fact, AT&T’s 2.5G EDGE network covers 1.75 million square miles of the United States, reaching some 296 million people, roughly the same number reached by Verizon’s network. This network supports popular services like e-mail, surfing the Web, texting, and voice calling, including the activities shown in the Verizon TV advertisements. In addition, our 3G service, the nation’s fastest, is available in more than 9,400 cities and towns.
We filed the lawsuit in Federal District Court in Atlanta and asked that Verizon be prohibited from misleading consumers regarding the scope of our wireless network.

How should I respond to customers who ask about the lawsuit?
While we cannot speculate on the complaint filed, it is a great opportunity to remind customers of AT&T’s many advantages that over 81 million customers enjoy, including:
Best Network — (A big WTF there…maybe 2nd or 3rd best…)
The best coverage worldwide — (More A bar or two in More some PlacesTM).
The nation’s fastest 3G network — (when you can get a damn signal) and the only national 3G carrier providing simultaneous voice and data usage (You win there).
The most devices that work in the most places including Japan and South Korea (3G 2100 MHz device required) — (again, Verizon has a good deal of worldphones, still, world travelers are best served on GSM: AT&T 2).
The nation’s largest wireless and wireline broadband provider — (not quite).
The nation’s largest company-owned and operated WiFi network with more than 20,000 hotspots, including Starbucks, McDonald’s and Barnes and Noble, as well as access to over 120,000 hotspots around the world.– (AT&T: 3)
The leading provider of local and long distance voice services.– (No comment)
Greatest Value — (Debatable) – The fairest value with Rollover® allowing customers to keep their unused minutes month to month.
Best Products — (Generally the coolest and most unique smartphones do come out on AT&T first, if ever. Though other carriers are making inroads) -The most innovative exclusive devices such as the iPhoneTM 3GS — (Get off the iPhone already. The longer you depend on it the harder you’re going to fall on your face once exclusivity goes bye-bye).
Most Convenient Services
The most customer friendly — (incompetent) — free self-service tools with *Services for checking usage, paying bills, and adding features.
The most convenient and cost-effective way for customers to manage their accounts with Combined Billing for wireless and wireline products.
Industry leading 30-day satisfaction guarantee.
As always, if you have an inquiry from the media, please refer them to your local media relations team member.

Can you believe the load of crap they actually believe? “Best Network”? Ya ok. Anyone who’s spent 10 minutes on their network in the last 3 years knows their network blows. Not to mention, by the wording of their letter and other statements made by AT&T spokesmen, they feel that Verizon should more or less mention or at least show their 2.75G EDGE network. Um hello. This is a comparison of 3G…not EDGE. No one cares about EDGE. It’s worthless. AT&T’s EDGE is so slow that when my iPhone rolls over to it, I stop using it for pretty much anything data related. It’s that bad. The mere fact that AT&T is crying foul is because their 3G network is exponentially smaller than Verizon’s. The most logical thing would be to invest more money into the network building it up. This is AT&T we’re talking about. The more appropriate solution (to them) is to waste money on frivolous lawsuits on people calling out your network for what it is. Crap! Thank god tomorrow’s Friday and I can get off this Big Blue POS.

Erictric > Mobile Crunch

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