Weed, Check!…Whiskey, Check!…Wait, what about our baby?

This isn’t techy by a long shot, it really is quite horrible, but I did think it was absolutely amazingly hysterical. Have you ever been sitting around smoking a fatty drinkin some Jack and realize you still have to deal with your children? I know this feeling (not really), not sure what to do with them when you want to get sloshed out of your mind. As parents we put up with a lot, don’t get me wrong, and sometimes we need to just be left alone and allowed to get screwed up with our significant others.

That is exactly what Larry Long of Kentucky said two nights ago. He had been smoking the sticky icky at the restaurant he worked at, when he proceeded to his house to drink mass amounts of whiskey with his childs mother. High as a giraffes ass, and drunk out of his mind he proceed to gently lay his baby, not in a manger, not in a crib, but in his oven as he went to bed. Now, I’ve been pretty f00ked up before, had no idea how I made it to bed, or even made it home, but, I’ve never once put either of my children in the oven. I can honestly say the thought has never even crossed my mind.

Mr. Long didn’t switch the oven on, it was left off, and even left it slighty ajared(I’m assuming the baby was afraid of the dark, and he wanted to make sure it had some light) and it wasn’t until 5.30am the next morning he was startled awake by a crying baby.  After realizing what an idiot he was, he immedietly phoned a mental health crisis hot line, who then alerted the proper authorities.

Larry Long blames the wise decision on the weed, saying it was probably laced with a hallucinatory agent. That is some gooooooooood shit! He was, of course, placed in jail with a bail set at $10,000.  The baby is in the custody of family members, not the wife! Hopefully he gets pummeled in prison for being such a n00b!

New York Post

The Gas Oven Laptop Cooler.

At first, hearing the words “gas oven” and “cooler” together will strike you as odd. But in the case of the Gas Oven Laptop Cooler, it makes a little more sense. Laptop coolers are a dime a dozen so when a manufacturer of said products tries to do something different, it can either go very well, or…not so well. In this case, they mostly succeed. The GOLC is a relatively small yet powerful laptop cooler with two big fans in use to keep your lappy cool and happy. One other nifty feature that should please mobile warriors is the USB power — no wall socket in sight. Granted, if you completely without a wall socket, using this will cause your battery to drain faster. Then again, if your laptop is starting to melt, I can see where your decision making might be altered. Finally, a nice blue glow shines from within letting you know when you do and don’t have sweet sweet electricity flowing through the device itself. The light is slightly gimmicky but a cool feature none the less. Oh yeah, I almost forgot — it’s shaped like a gas stove *face palm*.

Seeing as how most laptop coolers are $40+, are you willing to walk out on a limb for $12.69 and save a few dollars in the process? I hear limb walking is all the rage these days…

• Purchase the Gas Oven Laptop Cooler